HoFuckingHO

Dear Santa,

I’ve been a good little capitalist puppet this year. I've spent too much money, listened to the media propaganda, supported my government whole heartedly, anyone who complained about the direction our country was headed I told them to "love it or leave it," and if the complaint concerned our fearless leader I berated with "Right or wrong, he’s ours and we must support him." I’ve paid my fair share of taxes (maybe even MORE than my fair share), fees for everything under the sun, filled out more forms than I can count, and broke very few laws (and I can explain that, Santa).

I’ve followed the crowd. If we are to be a free nation we must wear seat belts, not smoke in public, get a permit for everything imaginable, not except gays as equals, stick our elderly in a hell hole somewhere and forget them (shit, they’ve outlived their usefulness in our grand capitalist society anyway), educated my children in a half-ass fashion while giving them every material want and need. And Santa, I never spank or raise my voice to my children so has not to bruise their little egos. I do want them to grown up feeling as if the world owes them everything so the will saturate themselves with bobbles and keep our economy strong.

I’ve conformed to the norm and wear what I’m told is the right thing, live in the right neighborhoods, drive the right car, worship the right way, think the right thoughts and speak the right words . . . Well, almost Santa, and that is my wish . . .

To be able to speak the way I want and be accepted . . . so if you can get the "crowd" to follow along with this then I will never ask for another thing. So please listen to this little lesson before reading the rest of my letter. Push the little button down on the lower left.









So what say you, Santa?
Think you can sway the people?
I just want this added to the list of freedoms . . .
And you know there has to be a list we all agree on.


You say no, Santa?
But that’s all I ask for!
Please, Santa!

Still no?

Well, I’ve only got one thing to say then . . .


Fuck you in your fat-fucking-ass, you reindeer fucking bastard. I hope Mrs. Clause fucking leaves you for her lady lover Candi and fucks the hell of you in divorce court. I also hope you are gang fucked by all the little fucking elves until you fucking cry like the fucking bitch that you are.

Yours very fucking truly,
Critter

P.S. My whole damned letter was a fucking lie anyway. Fucker.