Hands...

Critter has talked about Pops huge heavy hands, and he did have. Big hands with such large muscles on his fingers and palms, that it felt like a inch or so of padding. I loved holding hands with Poppa and either he liked it too, or indulged me, most of the time.

One day started of pretty confused, Pop had to be somewhere... that somewhere kept changing. We did a lot of walking that day. Around and around the 2 yards, headed here to do that and it would change from the front yard to the side yard and again before we got completely around the back yard.

We walked that yard so many times that day that Critters husband started watchen from the window with THAT look... I'm not sure what that look means really. I think it was just a "feelin for ya girl" look.

I didn't much mind the walkin. BUT, he wasn't holding my hand. He had me by the wrist, and was pretty much just dragging me around. I kept saying "Pop, hold my hand" and he'd look down and look at me like "well hell girl! I am".. I'd show him, here.. hold my hand, "that way I don't feel like I'm being arrested". "Arrested?" he said. Yeah Pop, and I took him by his wrist and started to walk and said "doesn't that feel like your being arrested and lead away?". "no" *sigh*

But, he'd take my hand and ask if that was better and off we'd go, then he'd stop to pick up something from the yard and the next thing I'd know, I was being lead by my wrist again.

Finally I was hot, needed something to drink.. maybe smoke a cigarette??? SIT my ass down for just a bit. So, I told him I needed a break, gotta take a break Pop.. I need a cup of coffee.. a cigarette.. to sit down. Just for a little bit, OK?

We did head back to the porch and I did get us both a cup of coffee, tho he wasn't interested in his. He was looking out the back door, with that untrusting look on his face. Not the one where he scared the crap out of Critter and I. Just the one he got when he was confused. More untrusting of himself I think. I headed for the porch and he opened the door for me. Then he grabbed my arm and gave me a really hard look and said "I want you to go, and don't you come back until it gets dark!"

This struck me so funny and I couldn't control the giggles that came out of me. He put just a bit more pressure on my arm and said "do you think thats funny?". And I couldn't exactly say NO, since I was 2 hairs away from a good belly laugh. So I said "yeah Pop, don't you think thats funny?" "NO".. and "Why is that funny?". "Well Poppa, you just told me to leave and not come back until it was dark. Don't you think thats funny?". Poppa was scared of the dark, I'm not sure why he wanted me to leave then... but he wanted my ass back when it got dark! He looked at me for a second and I know I still had a big shit eaten grin on my face. And his eyes changed, and the look changed.. and he gave me a half smile and said "yeah, I guess so". We ended up on the porch with our coffee, holding hands and just being quiet for a while.